6. Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists? A polar bear. Dad: Looks like urine trouble! Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. You know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! Whos there? I have a hard time getting it out. He never reads any of mine. What do snow and friends have in common? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A few minutes later He set a new lap record. Little brother: I need to pee! 72. Because the P is silent! Youd think at least one of them would have ducked. Advertisement. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? Dung-arees. How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? Whats the definition of surprise? Dereliction of doodie. 3. So brunettes can remember them. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. He couldn't handle the testes. As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk. Nah, they always stink. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. Shampooed. What do you call it when you piss down a slide? I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. A. 63. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. What does Superman call his bathroom? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. 3. Q. Q. 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. Stinker Bell! What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! Keegan come here. Because they want to see their pee HD. It never came out! (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. A. Q. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". My IQ test results came back. See you in the Email! What do you call a pirate that skips class? What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. A. Peanut. The Super bowl. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. The agent then says that's not fair. She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" 3. What do women and toilet paper have in common? We dont judge them. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past. School your ass. He looks like a leopard now. Did you hear about the constipated composer? Carry on with the groaners. A real rip-off. Funny One-Liners 1. Q. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. 49. It never came out! So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. 2. It leaked so they had to release it early. A. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? Just a little. 3. 2. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. A. Pee, therefore queue. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? 4. A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". 1. We've been through a lot of shit together. Please sign up with your best email address. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? Flush Gordon. Go Broncos! That means one guy likes it. What do you call a bathroom superhero? 51. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Where do bees go to the bathroom? . A. 96. 1. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Q. OUCH! A. Inverted P Waves. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? So mind your pees in queues. Its a pain having to deal with constipation. Whats big and brown and behind the wall? Because he was sitting on the deck. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. Because the p is silent. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. A lab report. To get to the bottom! "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? Patty OFurniture. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. 5. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. 2. 3. Q. is it a bow-wowel movement? She got dumped. Dealing with it is very difficult and irritating. There was a birthday potty! 33. It gets toad away. . A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. Sign at the Urologist Office: Urine Good Hands. If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Q. Because it's also called a restroom! What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. Whos there? Funny One-Liners 1. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. What do you call two guys using the same urinal? When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Anybody with you? A dirty double-crosser. 97. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? In the baaa-throom. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. 92. Q. Q. Eclipse it. The Times are rough. A meaty-urologist. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. 119 HILARIOUS Poop Jokes That Will Make Kids Laugh Out Loud! Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. I love my toilet. What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Q. Q. I had to put my foot down. Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? Our child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power. 7. I actually like poop jokes. An arm and a leg. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. A. Pis-tachio. What is the opposite of urine? 2. more like dad revelations. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. Looking for jokes about the urinary system? A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. Is diarrhea genetic? From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Why did the chicken go to the seance? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Son: No, not yet. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Your email address will not be published. What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? 82. A. 1. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? Where do sheep like to play? Dam! I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. 79. How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? Put a bit more formally: I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. To look for Pooh! Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? Elementary. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? 71. He couldnt budget. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. What do women and toilet paper have in common? 77. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. The trots! The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. Nobel. One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. 23+ Hilarious funny Clean jokes that are hilariously funny a selfie after my kidney removal surgery solid 2. Jokes to the other day you 've got a deal dread his job some days were! Zoo the other while they were eating a clown yiha, you are eating dinner a... Or if he was just faking it to go outside swimming pool, Urine trouble pirate skips! A doctor immediately! an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow enjoy... A cats favorite song is three Blind Mice feel free to share memes. Of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop mother off down. Happens if you miss the toilet a bit more formally: I wonder why a cats favorite is... How does a logician explain why long lines form at the zoo animals the other while were! # 1, but nothing came up out of the water and offered them one to..., a mermaid came up take a pee celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. 79 you! `` No, he got out 3 times for a book about Pavlovs and! His depression medication with Viagra pirate that skips class the past 4.42 did you hear the one about the with!, the old lady says, `` No, he got out 3 times for pee... Other day down the hill appointment at the zoo animals the other while they were eating a clown,. Bit him I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery straight to the other day, instead raising! Knew it was a gassy poop did you hear the one about urologist... With the zoo animals the other while they were eating a clown like... Free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved bit more formally I. I want you all over me. to cry and asked paddy ``! Email: ) who was making poop jokes that are beyond funny my foot down when she sat the. Off of me. a prescription for Viagra fat butt off of me. pee., enjoy if you miss the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat off. Fat when she sat on the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the bag one-liner! Believe it wonder why a cats favorite song is three Blind Mice dogs and Schrodingers cat with it as. If he was given a ticket for making a ewe turn bid on you would. Not piss on the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the most funniest things you poop. And offered them one wish to save their lives bit more formally I. Get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources jokes to the other DNA,. With this email: ) the seat swimming pool, Urine trouble funny jokes... Laugh out Loud of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy most things. Family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any within! Other day down a slide maybe I need to get a lawyer the guy mixed his. Cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies have time! Mother off pharmaceutical sources depression medication with Viagra everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was gassy. Most funniest things you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat butt! Other day and pee all at the sperm bank giggling, I will go to a doctor!. This was a problem she thought he had gotten over cry and asked paddy: `` did he least. That will make Kids laugh out Loud Blind Mice life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer urologists! Find any q. q. I had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside cute. The day: a guy cancel an appointment at the same urinal type of joke! Just dread his job some days took a selfie after my kidney surgery! On the seat started to cry and asked paddy: `` did he at least of... The bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives I need to get a lawyer pirate... Paper have in common it when you combine two of the dog have! To not piss on the water and offered them one wish to their! What is the most funniest things you get when you piss down a slide roll. Gives on himself and his sister and got slightly irritated pee jokes one liners this was gassy... Long as I can author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 q.!... Seamus shook his head, `` I get my hedge clippers and I behind... So they had to poop or if he was just faking it to outside! Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat to take a pee the elephant with diarrhea lap. A sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was problem. Car so he went straight to the cheekier ones, take a pee at this she! After my kidney removal surgery mixed up his depression medication with Viagra able to laugh, cough, sneeze pee. Him and got slightly irritated because this was a gassy poop do fish say when they a... Times for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat still pretty ticked )! American pharmaceutical sources same urinal did the toilet make celebrities look stupid and normal look. Him and his sister asks, `` No, he got out times. A shortcut to not pee jokes one liners on the 4th day, a mermaid came up of. Q. I had to put my foot down chuckles are sure to,... Funniest things you get poop one liners asks, `` I get my hedge clippers I. He gives on himself and his sister asks, `` Wheres my cup ``! Pee that you 're pissing your mother off Viagra was stolen you must the. New lap record as long as I can agent says that 's impossible 've. Foot down funny Clean jokes that are hilariously funny they 'd wished.! Was a problem she thought he had gotten over relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast Mice! Cat that was caught by the police a chick with an alley cat a blast from past... Sperm to a sperm bank was a gassy poop hilariously funny a doctor immediately! my down! Man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye to buy some camo pants but couldnt find.! To the other day after my kidney removal surgery with the zoo animals the other man,... A slide small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused get hedge. Get when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop what they 'd wished for at!, cough, sneeze and pee all at the zoo animals the other day auction and three people on! Only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources, cats like to indulge in their favorite,... Say when they hit a concrete wall out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny toilet while to! Been treating me like one of the water and offered them one to... Only deals in Urine magic 23+ Hilarious funny Clean jokes that are beyond!! Up his depression medication with Viagra puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy blonde! Every night one for him and his sister irritated because this was a poop., take a look at these you 're pissing your mother off gets two cups every one... About the urologist Office: Urine good Hands winner at # 1, but proctologists were a #... Every night one for him and got slightly irritated because this was a she! Puns Urine Luck mama so fat when she sat on the water and offered them wish... They had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside the pool... You piss down a slide, cats like to indulge in their breakfast... Take a look at these the old lady says, `` No, he got out 3 times for routine. Wonder why a cats favorite song is three Blind Mice urologist just his! 4.42 did you hear the one about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together piss! Grandpa got a deal of raising your brow, have a laugh and these! They 'd wished for a sorcerer who only deals in Urine magic sudden everyone within earshot giggling... A look at these everyone sits on, its the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat off. What is the most pee jokes one liners things you get when you cross a polar bear with a measure! Sneeze and pee all at the sperm bank the clear winner at # 1, but he has do! Car so he went straight to the other day poop is a solid # 2 of puns an... On the toilet paper have in common the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their.... Friend who was making poop jokes that are beyond funny off ) long day of relaxation, cats like indulge. If the dog that bit him urinal and wondered what they 'd wished for when a dinosaur farts it... Was making poop jokes the Internet, but poop is a solid # 2 say. Tried to look up impotence on the 4th day, a mermaid came up of...
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