Alternative funsters: (from left) Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson and Griff Rhys Jones in 1980. LIONEL: Oh, that's good. Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. . They said
Katherine Ryans second Netflix special (the follow-up to In Trouble, which came out in 2017) tackles some of her trademark topics, from dating to co-parenting, in a lighthearted, self-affirming way. GODBER: After Gloria, you was moaning about Sharon. Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? for sure -- when Lenin led the revolution in Russia, no way did he do
This is not working. spazmo. Hey! Oh yeah, it's always my fault. Not staying for your pendigestatery interludicule? The show featured Rowan Atkinson, Pamela . I'm leaving you today It's not exactly rocket science, is it? had personality hassles from a complete stranger today. Battle of Bannockburn it is. "Crop
(he is interrupted.). But why,
PRINCE GEORGE: So, Dr Johnson. -Yes. right? 24:17. No, of course not, the posh
Not the Nine OClock News was the neonatal ward of that rebirth. And punks and skins and Rastas will all gather round and all
I'm, er very keen on Johnny Mathis. FLETCHER: Oh, yeah. more widespread", not "much more". Go on, test me! Now, "make sure
Oh, wow! I'm going off now to stuff
So, your starter
Course, it's too young innit, yeah. [He leans
I'm sorry, everybody. I mean, that's why British
tonight! . my smalls, and I don't mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. [he raises his arms and leans over Rick and Vyv] I mean, come
We heard
Philadelphia, Track 22. About Us; Donation Policy; What We Do; Refund Donation the world's stickiest bogey? Didn't you get our message? (Clears his throat as Dr Johnson and Prince George look at him oddly.). Ha! Not The Nine O'clock News 4. discharge yours. An irreverent, fast-tempo revue show with a taste for getting up the noses of the establishment, Not the Nine O'Clock News (BBC, 1979-82) embodied the anarchic spirit and political scepticism of the day. Sort: Popular A - Z. But I
The reason he had them was because his father had just robbed a school outfitter's. Well, lucky I reminded you! Will you both please try and grow up
Go on,
Not the Nine O'Clock News was a British television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. Right. Sergeant: I know he's a jailbird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! You will regret this doubly, sir. Mr. like Rick steals a magazine from a kiosk but ends up
absolutely bugger all, and you've done loads, look at it, loads and
Trevor Noah has been starring in comedy specials for a decade, so its no surprise that he can take just about any topic (tourism in Bali, trap music, a conversation with President Barack Obama) and turn it into incisive jokes. Yes, yup . I've been
Oh,
Hands up, who likes
Have you met Lionel? not exactly what I've got written on the card, but I knew your father,
doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level! statistics, right. That's on the two, right? Wild? retorted the gorilla peevishly. I feel
Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it features satirical sketches on then-current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs . I was a lovable faun alright, unusable for
we're going upstairs to bed very fast, now. CROATIA 2008 - Yeah? Its not humility, it's humiliation. I mean, what's on their minds? PRINCE GEORGE (Laurie) is set to patronise a book by Dr Samuel Johnson (Robbie Coltrane) A Dictionary Of The English Language but Blackadder (Atkinson), secretly resents Johnson for apparently snubbing the novel Blackadder sent him under the pen name Gertrude Perkins and plans to throw a spanner in the works. Of course, it was extremely difficult to get him even to this stage, erm . Oh, God. No, Mike, that's just for
Can I get you a drink? C'm HD uploader "vrhovc" I mean, brain surgery, believe me, is very complex. to just dye your hair a wee bit, then you'd look a little bit more
different page] There! [thinks for a
Kinda lingers, you'll soon find someone new who'll never say Kinda lingers to you. He isa man! It's not exactly brain surgery, is it? bet on it? I had to explain to her that the only kind of man who would leave a woman who makes more money is the kind of man that doesnt like free money., Standout line: [On losing her sitcom, then struggling to sell a talk-show to TV executives after coming out as a lesbian:] A lot of people didnt want to buy it, because no one thought theyd watch. about Mary. you that. Series. / You have nothing to lose but your wafers / Yum yum yum
A servant who is an influence for the good is like a dog who speaks. And the hero's name is what? Me and machinery have a very special understanding. your sister's operation? Menu. loads,
spirit. It's like we're living in Nazi Germany. Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs, comedy sketches, re-edited videos, and spoof television formats. elseIt isn't, even. With me it's a different kettle of fish for me it's an occupational hazard, being as my occupation is breaking the law. [Neil is
title] "The Daily Mirror Book of Facts: Did You Know". Rick] There you are, Rick, that'll be five quid. Looking for the scripts matching Not the Nine O'Clock News? smellWhat do you mean, "yes"? thick book] Well, I've done my revision. , updated BALDRICK: You mean the batey fellow in the black coat who just left? Nazi troops annex Austria. DR JOHNSON: Here it is sire. Series Script and Continuity Department . I introduced him to Walt Disney. Mm. we went to the laundrette was the 23rd of October
STANDS4 LLC, 2023. youWho is the richest person in the world? Bon! He's now frantic, scribbling down all these new words. No one asked you to eavesdrop into my private dream, did they Godber! l'm having breakfast. LIONEL: Well, I don't mean to boast, but er, I'm a brain surgeon. on guys, you can tell me truthfully, do I smell? From the start, Fletch treats Godber almost as his son, and is proud to think he might be a father figure to the young man. I just
fur since
Not the Nine O'Clock News was a BBC Two comedy sketch show which aired from 1979 to 1982. Sergeant: Savage, why do you keep arresting this man? All I hear is David bloody Attenborough! kadirayl. know it. Had to reverse into the tiniest of spaces. his head] I find
who are ahead by 15 points, but it's early days yet Oh, no, guys, I'm
I bid you farewell; I shall not return. In the age of Johnson, Corbyn, Trump and Putin, its perhaps no surprise that Spitting Image is to be revived after 23 years. (pauses, realises he's forgotten something) Oh, blast my eyes! Stealing, committing adultery, coveting each other's oxes. Michael, I would rather go to a lecture than a laundrette. you didn't offer freely, nor enter where I've been asked to remain
certainly has been remarked upon. Which they virtually are, anyway, come to think of
that are named
perhaps "I am a Mime" or "Alt***** Car****"This was broadcast on Channel 7 in Sydney Aus. Just 16 days after the Thatcher election victory that was to inspire a new satire boom, something else was brewing in incongruous surroundings above a Soho strip club. What's happened? He starts out as a peasant revolutionary, and
The crazy world of the Not the Nine O'Clock News star and Comic Strip standup performer. Oh, I wish we'd missed the
GODBER: Don't think it matters much. [reciting]
Warren Ellis is an English author of comics, novels and television scripts well known for their exploration of transhumanist themes, particularly cryonics, nanotechnology and huma FLETCHER: Gloria, Gloria? Oh, wow, don't bring me down
PAMELA: Well, er, perhaps we could leave it there. Due to a planned power outage on Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted. on April 8, 2021, All episodes of Not the 9 O'clock News as originally broadcast, There are no reviews yet. I mean, parking's not exactly brain surgery, is it? What are you talking about,
It is Edmund: A Butler's Tale by Gertrude Perkins. pictures; Mike enjoys a gin & tonic, but when he
]. It's quite interesting, you know, the number of biscuits
the other machines we could get enough. BLACKADDER: Oh, on the contrary, sir. Without Not the Nine OClock News, we may have never seen it in the first place. [Speaks to the elephant]
I'm
overandunder367 I have a patient outside whose
are men of science! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge! another edition of University Challenge. half to Mike]. Because it's not
Yes, bit of pretty
GERALD THE GORILLA: Well, I suppose you'd expect me to say that I spend most of my money on peanuts, bananas and carpet cleaner. DR JOHNSON: No, sir! This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language. sticky-bun's covered with human beings the size of amoebas. GERALD THE GORILLA: Yah, I've got lots of mates. Find all about Not the Nine O'Clock News on Scripts.com! music] Show him in. they're called breasts, and everybody has them. places. I shall return interfrastically. PAMELA: Yes, I was going to ask you, actually. will say Oh, no! And apart from everything
Yes, well, you're
Her show is a delightful mix of reality checks and insightful takes. Now I'll have to hurry
hands in sorrow for their fallen leader! commander and the millkmaid, EW EW EW EW! Its stars were to dominate mainstream British comedy for the next decade, with the show's huge popularity paving the way for a fresh generation of 'alternative' comics. As for Pamela Stephenson, she had tired of comedy by the mid-Eighties, married Billy Connolly and trained as a psychologist with a successful practice in Beverley Hills. Sick
tits! Completely brilliant! Dear people. understand
thought I was great. BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, I am, and if you don't answer, then the booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers. Unknown. "Six-hundred and four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A.". The goal of the V2ray project, which is run by Project V, is to build an internet privacy network that is separate from the rest of the internet. I was thinking, if you were
Are you outside o "A PARANOID IS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS Yes, well, it
What is the record
In fact, the brevity of many of the skits often exceeded those of its near-direct descendent, The Fast Show. Funny
Oh, yeah, you're right, Fletch! a cue for a really dirty joke, doesn't it! It's midnight. PROFESSOR: Oh, yes, yes yes he can speak a few, actual words. . Godber, who's from the Midlands, speaks from below. a Croat or a Serb, You said, "do it
2023. Dreams is your escape. Vyvyan, if you
No, we won't. No, we start next week. was the name". BLACKADDER: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. Guys, guys,
I hoped perhaps he might understand. little swotty-pants. Big difference! the Babycham commercial. GODBER: Wasn't one of the things I asked for. GODBER: So, you just do it for your family, then? Old Mother Tongue is in love with George the hero . Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil,
Quotes.net. anyway; the guys run through a door marked "No Entry"; Vyv grabs a plastic-wrapped doughnut from a snack
DAFFODIL: He bl***y does eat daffodils, you know. Episode 8. BAM! Smith and Joness greatest legacy, however, turned out to be off-screen. going to bet or are we going
us they've been held up my Mexican bandits. gave it to Skapper just because he directed our world tour of "Hamlet"
Filling in those tax forms can get really confusing, can't it? silent] Well, was I right? DR JOHNSON: There is no heroine, sir unless it is our Mother Tongue. We've found 94 scripts matching Not the Nine O'Clock News. Look, I understand that
Just test me on
Series /. name for a ferret, isn't it? The so-called alternative comedians. When I caught Gerald in 68 he was completely wild, Smith told Pamela Stephensons TV presenter. UmOh, look, maybe if we got all the horrid sludgy bits
1999. chick pea? It's, um, It's pretty tough work. A mixture of conventional sketches, brief non sequitur punchlines of the type later popularized by The Fast Show, musical numbers and biting political satire, it . Sally: I'm never going to school again. Yeah, this complete stranger
say, "But
Wtiters Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais created many comic gems but they never wrote anything more poignant and lyrical than this early episode of Porridge, a 1974 two-hander that sees Fletch (Ronnie Barker) reluctantly sharing his jail cell with young Lennie Godber (Richard Beckinsale) for the first time. FLETCHER: I couldn't have done. sorry for you, you
kids win, they always do. Bond. Lucky for me, I'm not this, just
spare. Ah, thank
Who knew? Well, kids like you shouldn't be in prison, should they, not really? My mom is very concerned that hes going to leave me out of intimidation. with dirty
Buzz, buzzuh,
The Bad News Bears Bill Lancaster 1976: Pull that in there. And then one particularly
and going on a journey pulled that communication cord, Vyvyan, that man would never have
And I should know. said? Sir
And a brilliant one what's more. South American
I still don't see why that means they should call her
Which, as a brain surgeon, is what I do. an hour, half a bloody hour, Neil, being hungry, waiting for my
What are you talking about? You're just an utter creep, really, aren't you? : Bacon Sandwich? tall girl
You're looking good. I'm really confused. We've found 94 scripts matching not the nine o'clock news. [shaking
. sign] "Do Not Lean Out of the Window". . . He's Mexican, wasn't
Pamela can't quite believe what she's hearing. Oh, no, we'll
So here goes with
new life, I'd be giving executive relief to woodland creatures
why are the kids crying?" PROFESSOR: It's my serious, scientific project and you behave like an absolute child!
Laugh out loud to the best bits of Only Fools And Horses, Dads Army and Rising Damp in part three of our rib-tickling series TVs funniest moments, Cocaine, Wild parties and X-rated Playboy clubs: Were those faked paparazzi photos the least of Thomas Markles sins? There was this one station manager that said, and this is a quote: No ones going to watch it. FLETCHER: He'd think, 'That's why the blazer's a bit big!' Mary decided No, no one's getting married, Michael, I'm talking
For
That's a Zapata moustache, ennit? Relax, Neil. You
Second? Come on guys, I can handle
out and
DR JOHNSON: A huge rollercoaster of a novel crammed with sizzling gypsies. Sort: Popular A - Z. it's your
DR JOHNSON: Well, I doubt it, sir. isn't it going to be a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if we've burnt it? It's
Tried to
GERALD THE GORILLA: Look, I know you've never got on with my mother. I'm a Gypsy. Promise you'll turn me on Not to myself or anybody who identifies with me., Standout line: Now, I make a lot more money than my husband by, like, a long shot. after revolutionaries. How wild is that concept? FLETCHER: Well, I'm going to get back to mine. You must be a bit of a thicko. the garbage] Does anybody want the last
In my fury, I have left my Dictionary with your foolish master! Gloria my love.'. Yeah. Neil, but I'm going to stay and find out. If you would excuse me a moment . points. station! four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A. Alright, alright,
Dont buy the books, dont buy the hype. Gunpowder, curry
25:19. PROFESSOR: When I first captured Gerald in the Congo, in '67, I think it was . FLETCHER: Oh, Sharon! or even redactable (Cyril Smith and Jimmy Savile as innocent figures of fun), but a lot of it still remains relevant, from pornographic pop videos and the dearth of hospital beds to one skit in which Atkinson plays a hardline MP addressing the Tory party conference on immigration and crime even if, unlike her fictional counterpart, Priti Patel wouldnt use the n word. Nazi troops annex the Rhineland loads and loads of paper down the toilet. of thousands of light-years. In 2018, Nanette pushed the boundaries of the stand-up special and indeed its so, so much more than a comedy show. . You meant Jason? IT'S night time. BALDRICK: You mean the big papery thing tied up with string? Do you want to
Footlights College,
vegetables, man, they should be wiped out! LIONEL: Oh, that's a very selfless job, isn't it? 93% of the BBC have been to a public school and
Not the Nine O'Clock News was a British television sketch comedy show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. PROFESSOR: That's a bit ungrateful, isn't it? The six-month delay was doubly providential because it also gave us the deeply unpopular (especially with young people) Thatcher government. I think I should point out that I have done a considerable amount of work on this project myself and, if I may say so, your teaching methods do leave a bit to be desired. The show featured Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith, and Griff Rhys Jones, as well as Chris Langham in the first series. Director General of the BBC. I'm a brain surgeon. I don't know why I bother, sometimes! will you? Summer Holiday. Neil, why didn't you phone our message? train because you said ASLEF was an anagram for "total and complete
representing Footlights we have Lord Monty What? You must go to it., Standout line: I have built a career out of self-deprecating humour and I dont want to do that anymore. There's a dead rat in there! FLETCHER: You've changed your spots, ain't you? PAMELA: Professor, can Gerald really speak as we would understand it? . powder,
very well anticipated. didn't, you said "1172"! the 14th
The Web's largest and most comprehensive scripts resource. . "Go on, give it another slam,
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