Author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today One thing my abusers kept telling me was that I had no proof that they were hurting me, so why would anyone believe me? If they feel they are in danger or in an uncomfortable situation, they can call home and use the code word, something as simple as, I forgot my math homework at school. . Today there are more then 700 Children Advocacy Centers in America and millions of children have walked through those doors.Before there were CAC's children were interviewed numerous times in places such as police stations. The shame is so overwhelming. Do you believe one word is more appropriate than the other? Low near 30F. My name is Erin Merryn and I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. It brings it all back to the surface. What if their family is pressuring them to just keep quiet and get on with their life? In the wee hours of the night, Ashley's uncle "Richard" (not his real name), who lived in the house with his niece, appeared in the darkened room. Bucco introduced Erins Law (S-2145) on May 2. Read more From the age of 11 to 13, I was repeatedly sexually abused at the hands of a family member, an older cousin, she said. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune) During her quest,. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. Erin is a mom to three little girls. The more I shared the more I felt heard like I was lifting this burden off me and by the way the forensic interviewer was talking to me and encouraged me she gave me the message she believed me. Erin has appeared in People Magazine, Glamour Magazine, Time Magazine, The New York Times, Time Magazine, New York Post, The London Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, Daily Herald, among others. After graduating with Bachelors and Masters Degrees in social work from Western Illinois and Aurora Universities in 2008 and 2009, Health Communications published her second book, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. After enduring a childhood filled w. Last week the law passed in two more states, Virginia and Wyoming, bringing the total to 34. In just a few short years, she has already persuaded half the countryto pass similar versions of the law. Merryn: There is so much shame and stigma attached to sexual abuse. Bad things happen to children all the time. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. Seconds later his hand was down her pants. My second abuser, my cousin, came from a family of all boys. My favorite story is out of my own state of Illinois (One lawmaker) had been against school mandates her entire career, and (the sponsor) warned me, she is going to get on her mic and go on about how this should not be passed, schools should not be mandated to do things, etc. EN. The family pressed charges against Brian, who ultimately admitted to three counts of sexual abuse. Forgiveness is what set me free. (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). She is the author of Bailey, No Ordinary Cat, Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Erin has spoken at over 250 CAC events.In 2008 she began writing legislators to require personal body safety be taught to kids in school. She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. Erin's Law is the first US child sexual abuse prevention education law requiring children be educated in schools. Forgiving him did not mean what he did was right, she stressed. We've had an unprecedented change for our Gingerbread House Partners in Prevention 2021 Luncheon and we couldn't be more excited! Erin Merryn is the author of three books about surviving incest, including "Living for Today." She also speaks nationally on the subject. Young children tend to hear a lot of messages about avoiding interactions with people they don't know, when in reality they are far more likely to face harm from a relative or family friend. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. Because so often, people that are being abused do not report it until theyre in their 30s, 40s and 50s cause nobody ever gave them the message onhow tospeak up and tell, Merryn said. So I stayed silent. Oh and of course my cousin's voice echoing through my head "No one will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy this family, this is our secret!" Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. In 2010, Merryn helped create Erin's Law, which was the first law to be passed in the U.S. that required children to be taught sexual abuse prevention in school. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13, lying next to her with his hands down her underwear. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. When all you have ever been told by an abuser is to stay silent, no one will believe you, this is our secret, you learn to believe that, and (it) makes it extremely difficult to speak up about. Erins Law soon caught on nationwide. I also tell parents don't give childrens private parts pet names. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). EN RU CN DE ES. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her abusers tried to silence. Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. Thirty-seven states have passed Erins Law and Merryn has tried three times in seven years to get the bill passed in Ohio. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. According to Merryn, every school gets the option to pick a Erins Law program, and have an outside agency teach. Requiring personal body safety education in public schools. Erin wrote that letter. It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in my sleep when I was 11 years old. Well, something shocking happened. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. Erin Merryn born February 2 1985 is the author of Stolen Innocence Living for Today An Unimaginable Act Bailey No Ordinary Cat and The Diary of a Cat. We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. So, instead of speaking out, the only person she told her thoughts and feelings to was herself in the form of a little pink diary. Usually, the abuse isnt at the hands of a stranger, rather someone they know and trust. Do you still stay in contact with him? There was one good thing about my sister coming forward, she said. These days hes almost 9 and I dont really tag along to play dates anymore, but every time I drop him off, I tell him, if you have to use the bathroom, lock the door and have privacy. They dont warn us about our own family, they dont teach us that in school, her age 12 entry stated. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. How I wondered am I suppose to tell this stranger my pain when I am too ashamed to even talk in detail with my parents about it. I feel it would have given me the voice that these men took from me. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? But only 1 in every 10 sexually abused children ever tell anyone about it. "The new bill brings a mandate," Merryn said, "mandating that all (Illinois) schools--pre-school through 12th grade--must begin next fall teaching sexual-abuse prevention education in the schools." She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Alaska Dispatch: Silence is a powerful way in which sexual abuse is kept secret and is perpetuated. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. Senator Gillibrand on the federal version of Erin's Law to give federal funding to the law, and in December 2015 President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law under the Every Student Succeeds Act. I found myself locked in bedrooms, basements, bathrooms, a car, garage and repeatedly assaulted by my cousin.. The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. Behind those numbers are the faces of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness. Then, Erin said she told her family too. And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me," said Merryn. Merryn now. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. Erin first gained public attention for this cause when she self-published her first book while still a senior in high school in Schaumburg IL, entitled: Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir. Erin Merryn is a powerful speaker and advocate for countless, faceless children and adults in our country who have similarly suffered sexual abuse. Erin said the abuse stopped after her sister spoke up about her own abuse. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13 . If someone ever does touch you in those areas, you tell immediately., Merryn suggests the books The Swimsuit Lesson and The Right Touch.. Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words she'll never forget: "Brian's gross!" It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryn's little sister, too. My abusers threatened me, and I believed them. The school, community organization, day care center, etc. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois. What once caused her shame, and something she never wanted to talk about, she now found herself wanting to turn it into a book. February 7, 2023 by Cindy Erin Merryn is a Global Advocate for Child Sex Abuse Prevention For years, Erin Merryn was too scared to speak up about sexual abuse. I always feared he would come back. The revelation caused tension in the family. Merryn worked with U.S. She knew exactly what she was doing by asking simple questions on my life, friends, what I did for fun, and my family. I will not stop until children in all 50 states are protected from sexual abuse.". Her older cousin sexually abused her from 11-13 years old. But where were the eight ways on how to "get away and tell today?" It was taught every year, and when a creepy van pulled up when I was 12 having a lemonade and the man put his hand out the window asking me to take the change those lessons immediately played back in my mind. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. See the sex abuse in Israel's ultra-orthodox community. Merryn travels the country bearing witness to what happened to her in hopes of encouraging states to enact laws requiring sexual abuse education in schools. (Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images) I remember walking out into the parking lot and feeling this sense of relief.Seven months later I would return back for the first time since my interview to begin a group with other girls who were survivors in January 1999. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. Known For. He cornered her in basements, bathrooms and bedrooms, always reminding her that she shouldn't bother telling anyone because no one would believe her. Acting out both at home and in school, she was given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and was told she was just going through a phase; that her parents brief separation was the probable root cause. In her diary Erin Merryn reveals how her life was transformed one night when, as an eleven-year-old, she was sexually abused in her grandparents condo by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. 35. This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. Erin Merryn, A Voice for the Voiceless. Merryn lay on blankets on the floor next to Ashley, who was in her bed. Get the best experience and stay connected to your community with our Spectrum News app. I found hope and healing there and people that believed me. In the end, he was given seven years of probation, 1,000 hours of community service, he attended a two-year sex offender program, and couldnt come within 100 feet of Erin or her sister. The law has now passed in 37 states. Erin Merryn speaks with enthusiasm, rattling off the list of trips around the globe, the hours of research and meetings promoting her cause. How do we lessen the control these pressures have on ourselves, our loved ones? The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. Merryn cautions that you can never just go by how many registered sex offenders are in your area. Merryn (whose other books are Stolen Innocence and Living for Today), the mother of a toddler girl, says this is a conversation parents must have every year and often. After an evening of playing with Ashley's dollhouse and watching The Little Mermaid, the girls went to bed in Ashley's room. But her nightmare was just beginning. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County, Ill. (there are 900 of these centers across America in every state), helped give me the courage in my forensic interview after my sister and I broke our silence to tell what had happened. She has appeared on Oprah, Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, TLC documentary Breaking the Silence, CBS This Morning, Katie Couric, Tamaron Hall, 700 Club, and over 200 local media stations. I am so confident I will get this law passed in all 50 states, because God has already told me it will happen. Merryn said she testified four times for the task force. "He told me, just like in the past by this other perpetrator, 'Erin, this is our . COLUMBUS, Ohio - Erin Merryn, a Chicago-area resident behind an Ohio bill that would require public schools to provide age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention instruction, told a Senate. Soon it was no longer our secret and I was behind a different closed door not the one to a bedroom, a bathroom, basement, or closet but this time into a colorful room with a small table and bright light shinning through the skylight. Merryn says a few months ago, a local . This law could have given me the ability to know I would be believed, that this is not a secret to keep, and how to report it. More than 90 percent of children who are sexually abused know their attacker, Bucco said with conviction. 46 reviews. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . We need to start teaching kids this, she said. MORE: Monmouth U. faces federal sexual assault case. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. Around the time we were getting ready to move away, my friend had a birthday party. Every other headline horrifies the public with another predator taking not just advantage of a child but everything from a child. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with . The next steps for the bill remain unknown. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. Merryn kept her confusion to herself. My sister and I told our parents the next day (and) we were referred to the Children's Advocacy Center by police detectives to be interviewed. It ended only after a chance conversation between Merryn and one of her sisters, who blurted out one day that their cousin Brian was "gross." Im very concerned about the possibility of grooming or the losing the innocence of our young children. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryns little sister, too. Throughout her school years, Erin Merryn of Schaumburg, Ill., received plenty of lessons in the dangers her elders thought she could encounter during her childhood. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. This representative did get on her mic. Sexually abused as a. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. He told me, "Your goal is to convince everyone else." I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. Ill never be abused again, its just all gonna go away.. Wow, I have a decision to make. This went on for a month before police got involved. JANESVILLE, Wis. (WMTV) - Illinois woman Erin Merryn spoke in Wisconsin Wednesday, pushing the state to pass the law in her namesake that aims to protect children and prevent child sexual abuse. Alaska Dispatch: Let's talk about two words we hear a lot when covering sexual abuse stories: victim and survivor. "Erin's Law" is named after Schaumburg native and activist Erin Merryn. People would be amazed how many people this really does affect and that they know but have never come forward. I think he knew that once he had us conditioned, we were easy targets. At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). Merryn realized he had been molesting her sister too. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. Now, thanks to state Sen. Anthony R. Bucco, children of the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope. Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. The man had threatened Merryn that hed hurt her more if she told anyone. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. [8] In November 2009, she published a second book, Living For Today, discussing earlier abuse by her neighbor. "Alabama needs this law because just like everywhere else in America . Erin Elizabeth had cheerful holidays turned into a fight to protect herself from evil where she often lost. One personal safety lesson learned at school that actually helped me in life was "stranger danger." Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. Sunshine and a few clouds. Nightmares. www.accessonline.com/videos/ellen-degeneres-gives-internet-famous-cat-a-call-in-quarantine, www.rainn.org/news/president-signs-measures-support-state-action-prevent-and-address-child-sexual-abuse, www.accessonline.com/videos/ellen-degeneres-gives-internet-famous-cat-a-call-in-quarantine. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual ab Download it here. These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. Are you afraid you will lose business? I sat next to a woman who I had just met moments earlier in the waiting room with my sister and mom. The fact that a motel is not telling families that sex offenders are living there should be a crime, Merryn said. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. Sponsored by Rep. Geran Tarr, D-Anchorage, HB 233 puts Alaska among the states considering "Erin's Law" in 2014. MORE: Moms and dads, can we talk about stranger danger? As a result, she has been interviewed by many major news organizations and TV programs beginning in 2006, on Good Morning America, Oprah, CNN, Today Show, Fox, Katie Couric, Nightline, TLC, OWN, MSNBC, People Magazine, Time Magazine, Glamour Magazine, USA Today, London Times, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and dozens more local media. Visit sheriffalerts.com to find out if there are sex offenders in your area. When I was six years old, I was sexually abused at a neighbor's house. How and when did you do it first? (2013) In December 2015, President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding toschools to provide this education. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . So before CAC's a child brought to a police station could be filled with anxiety and fear that they are in trouble. Erin's Law, named after Erin Merryn, has passed in 36 states and is pending in the other 14. Later, just weeks before her seventh birthday, she was raped by the same man. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. Jill Burke is a former writer and columnist for Alaska Dispatch News. There are thousands of accused sex offenders every year who are found not guilty living in our communities. She also pointed out the real loss of innocence for a child is when they are sexually abused and nothing is done about it. [5] She published a book called Bailey No Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey's unusually gentle interactions with her three children. It was so brutal I thought I was dying, Merryn, Glamour magazines 2012 Woman of the Year, recalled in an interview with the Asbury Park Press. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. She now runs Carrot's Instagram and shares pictures of Carrot sharing a similar demeanor of her previously owned cat, Bailey. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. How did you find this voice? I was told repeatedly by my cousin that I had no proof, that he would deny it, that no one would believe me. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. The case never went to trial, and Brian received some counseling, but no punishment. My question to hotel or motel management would be, Why not tell? Chris Newlin - National Children's Advocacy Center She also wantsteachers andstafftrained on the topic. So, she forgave him. She began to think about all the other prevention classes and drills she learned in school: how to say no to drugs, what to do in case of a fire, what to do in case of a tornado, how to never answer the door if parents arent home. Little did I realize, that by moving, I was getting that much closer to the next perpetrator in my life, she said. Merryn: Yes. Merryn advocates for sexual abuse victims. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. You will be believed.. Alaska Dispatch: What can someone reading about this do in their own life, or change about their own perspective, to make coming forward easier for victims? Eleven states have passed the legislation. Who were they? Was this just bad luck? IG: The_Cat_Named_Carrot.Ellen is Carrot's biggest fan. Alaska Dispatch: When you decided to confront and start corresponding with your cousin, how did it go at first? To a child who has been told so many threats to stay silent the idea of being taken to a police station can often scare a child. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. Pat Quinn on Thursday signed a new law extending sexual abuse education in Illinois schools. The only education I ever received about sexual abuse was when I became a victim, and the abusers threatened bad things would happen if I ever told. How do you identify? As I often tell people, our innocence was stolen, (our) trust taken, but the one thing we can reclaim as survivors is our voices. A place I went to with my eleven year old sister and mother. The founder of Erin's Law. Forgiveness set me free. Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. Erin Merryn is an author, activist, speaker, wife, and mom to young human children and a fur baby named Bailey. 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Once he had us conditioned, we were getting ready to move away, when a started! ; Erin & # x27 ; s Law & quot ; Alabama needs Law. Extending sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as has... Told anyone of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness out of the.. This really does affect and that they know and trust persuaded half the countryto pass similar of. The suburbs of Chicago, I was six years old 2008 she began writing legislators to require personal safety... In just a few short years, she published a second book, Living for Today, mom! Blankets on the floor next to a police station could be filled anxiety. President of Erins Law do we lessen the control these pressures have on ourselves, our loved ones known... The eight ways on how to `` get away and tell Today? this bill twice two!
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